Yesterday morning, the first day of school holidays, I was already hearing the cries of ‘Mum, I’m bored’. But by the afternoon both boys had decided to spend a few hours in the park. As I had to go to the shops to pick up something for dinner it was music to my ears.
Food shopping with all 3 kids is the stuff nightmares are made from. I have a shopping list to read and a trolley to push, Tabitha pulls things off the shelf, #1son is usually obnoxious and #2son wants to be helpful whilst being totally clueless about food shopping. This happens simultaneously and causes me to slightly hyperventilate.
Getting back to my story, I didn’t have the kids so I took a few minutes to look at clothes (for ME!). I found several summer dresses I liked and went to try them on in the changing room.
Normally I’m quite happy with who I am – not deliriously happy but content. I can live with what I’ve got. Oh, but yesterday I saw myself in the changing room mirror.
Usually during the day I’m so busy I might glance in the bathroom mirror once or twice. I hardly ever wear makeup and my hair routine is strictly wash and go. When photos are being taken, I’m the one behind the lens. I don’t often get the chance to see all of me. All at once.
I hate changing room mirrors.
Nothing about my reflection pleased me. All I could do was stand and look at my flaws – hair quickly tied back, skin blotchy and body bloated. This was with clothes on. When I changed clothes I didn’t look. I think I would have cried.
All body issues I have (and have ever had) were there for me to glare at in the mirror. Usually I don’t see them. But a changing room mirror is not there to spare your feelings. It laughs in the face of pseudo body confidence and leaves you a gibbering mess.
There may be wisdom to learn from my changing room experience like NEVER go in one ever again (or at least not when you’re PMS-ing). Or perhaps it was a wake up call and I should put more time (i.e. any time) into my appearance. I don’t know.
Am I alone in my hatred for changing room mirrors? Do you like what you see when you enter the little cubicle or are you reminded of what you don’t like about yourself? And if you’re short sighted like me, does it help if you remove your glasses before entering? 
Awww girlie ~ I totally hear you on that one!!! I don't like full-body mirrors either ~ too frightening. I prefer to live in complete denial and listen to all the lovely things Beloved says about my flabby middle-aged body
But remember this one thing. Ready?
All Goddesses are beautiful ~ you are sacred, you are whole ~ you are Goddess, you are beautiful!
Blessed Be from across the pond and up the river right into the center of the US of A
)))
I think changing room mirrors are pure evil. I don't particularly like normal mirrors, but changing room mirrors are the worst.
i too share you hatred of changing room mirrors, bathroom mirrors, and long bedroom door mirrors but i have them up to remind me what i want and all the things i need to change. it drives me to be the preson i want to be rather then the person i let myself turn into.
I blame it on the mirror. I hate shopping- especially for jeans or bathing suits. But it is all the mirror's fault. I feel pretty at home in the mirror- even naked after a shower. Sure, I'm saggy and a bit lumpy- but I still have nice proportions and curves.
In a store, the mirror seems distorted, The lighting is unnaturally bright, and no one should ever be able to see their own butt so easily. The mirror looks at you like a jealous mean bitch.
But you are not the you in the dressing room mirror. People look at you and think you are pretty- you have gorgeous hair and eyes. I am assuming from your face, not too guant, not fat- that your body has the same curves and maybe lumps as mine does. which means- you are gorgeous! (for men who want real women who eat). The mirror lies. We real people who tell you are pretty don't.
I know what you are saying here Lyn! I still suffer from 'mirror syndrome' at 59 years of age! (although there is a photograph of you on the top right that tells me you are young and beautiful. )!!
Young mums have the hardest job in the world , so beating yourself up on top of all that work is just plain cruel. What Moon says is right. We are Goddess and made perfectly and beautifully. When you get another glimpse of yourself in a mirror just smile – the greatest beauty treatment of all. Then tell yourself what a great job the Goddess made of you.!
My mission these days is to tell myself what I am telling you. I may be Crone but She is beautiful too and worthy of some self respect.
Hugs kate x
I try to avoid clothes shopping when PMSing. The worst shopping experiences for me usually involve bathing suites. Oy. Also, the first time I went shopping after I had my son. I had to buy a dress for a fancyshmancy birthday party and I literally cried in the dressing room while talking to myself about my inflated tired baby belly. I thought I was alone, I wasn't. A wonderful grandmother knocked on my door and asked me if I needed some water. I thankfully told her no and then came out of the dressing room. She put her hand on my shoulder and said "That belly of yours carried that beautiful infant in that stroller. The stretch marks I have from my babies are my physical reminders of the wonders of my body". She made my cry all over again.
Uhhh, those horrible mirrors are made by evil-stepmother's to make beautiful women hate themselves, didn't you know that, Lyn? First of all the lighting can make ANYONE feel pale, out of shape and just blah, including Angelina Jolie, she told me so herself ; )
And I think that because of our culture it's really easy to hate our looks when all we see is air-brushed anorexic models which makes me feel horrible about myself. What's a girl to do? First, I buy off the internet and try it on in my own room, I can easily return it if I don't like it and mostly I stopped buying those "fashion magazines" and while my self-esteem could be improved; I'm so much happier not comparing myself to what is the flavor of the month. Buy yourself something your best friend would buy you and say to yourself all the lovely compliments he/she would say to you, you deserve it, esp. for kids off for summer
Oh, Lyn…sorry about your bad mirror day, girl. If it helps, know that your feelings are *universal* among females – even *teenagers* scrutinize their mirror reflections for flaws and often find themselves wanting! A number of excellent responses here, but I'll add my two cent's worth, as well:
Moon – thank you for reminding Lyn of our Goddess and how we all have her within us, and that SHE is ever beautiful, no matter what…and thus, so are WE.
Trish – you make a good point, in your saying that you see what is in your mirror as motivation. We can love ourselves as we are and STILL seek to improve it…the two are not mutually exclusive!! A little bit at a time, every day…eventually makes a huge difference. Lyn, would it be possible for you to take just a few minutes each morning to apply a touch of makeup and style your hair in a simple but attractive 'do? Perhaps put on something you really love that will lift your spirits…a favorite scarf or piece of jewelry? Some particularly pretty underwear? A spritz of fragrance that makes you feel uplifted? Some lovely shimmery body lotion, even, occasionally? Can you recruit your husband to watch the kids while you do this? One or more of these ideas should be doable, and would make such a difference in the way you feel all day!
K – You said what I was going to, about the lighting in dressing rooms (and department stores for that matter), being completely off, unnatural, and far too bright. As well as BRUTAL!!! An excellent post overall, but these sentences from the last paragraph are pure gems: "…you are not the you in the dressing room mirror. People look at you and think you are pretty – you have gorgeous hair and eyes. The mirror lies. We real people who tell you [you] are pretty don't."
Kate, absolutely everything you say is great!! Especially referring to Lyn's youth, which is typically disregarded and/or underrated by those who are young!! Which YOU are, Lyn. That *alone* gives you beauty; a radiance and a glow – even on bad days – ever there, even if you never notice it! TRUST me on this!!! – Kate, the Crone IS beautiful, and worthy of ALL the respect – from self and others – in the world.
iannasstar – what a *truly* wonderful story!! Thank you for sharing it with us! And what you said about PMS is completely right – pre-period time is without doubt our WORST as far as how we look (not to even *mention* feel!!!)!
Wendy – again, you said what I was planning to! Oh, those *M O D E L S*, who don't even *themselves* look the way we think they do!! *Most* of their gloriousness is created by skilled, painstaking, hours-long use of makeup, lighting, hairdressing, photography, and a great deal of personal styling…*all* done by paid experts. What woman WOULDN'T look breathtakingly perfect with such a support team getting her ready to go out into the world??? Let's all take every image of women we see in the media with a very large chunk of rock salt!! ;D
Dear Lyn – It has taken me far too long to learn this, but simply: *l o v e * is the greatest beautifier. Which you have in abundance!! Your friends, your husband, and, yes, your kids – believe this, as difficult as they may be in daily life, if anyone dared to insult you in front of your boys, they would turn into little *warriors* in defense of their mummy's honor!!!
…But of course, as Whitney Houston sang long ago, the love within is "the greatest love of all". That is really what we need to aim for, above and beyond everything else. And it is daily work, an unending – even lifelong – endeavor, for most of us.
We are right there with you, luv.